“Cath, I’m telling you – you’re a medium. There’s spirits all around you trying to talk to you, you’re just not listening!”
That’s a powerful statement to make. It’s also one that my good friend, and psychic medium Jules of Living Tarot insists on saying every time we meet. I’ve never fully believed I have that gift, though I know I have some awareness of spirit. Sometimes I feel spirit, sometimes I hear spirit and sometimes I get visions or flashes. Sometimes. So I never felt I qualified as a psychic medium despite Jules relentlessly insisting I am.
Last week Jules invited me to her home for dinner. I love visiting Jules. She is such a warm, funny, shoot-straight-from-the-hip kinda gal. She also always gives you fabulous cakes with your cup of tea. Apart from a lovely evening I knew I would have with her, I knew it would be a fabulous dinner too. I was really happy at her invitation and said yes immediately. Jules then threw in a very casual and blase “hey Cath, bring your tarot cards, I’d like a reading.” I nearly fell off my chair! Jules is a psychic medium – how on earth could I give her a tarot reading worthy of her ability? Enter my fear, I began to shake. Then some other part of me was doing its level best to take control and point out some positive attributes I have. The terrified side of me was having none of it though.
Feel the fear and do it anyway?
I have always believed in the power of positive thought. I have subscribed to the idea that you should face your fears, to conquer them. It’s never worked. I’m still terrified of flying and only last week after waiting over 8 months for a specialist dental appointment, they still had to sedate me before they could begin. So facing my fears doesn’t conquer them, they’re still there, but somehow, some part of me is able to overcome this fear and do the very thing I’ve become terrified of doing. I’ve often called it ‘getting over myself’. The reason being quite simply that I know these two fears, or phobias, are irrational and I understand the logical arguments for flight safety and the effectiveness of oral anasthetic. I’m still terrified of both and yet I still fly and I still get into that dentist’s chair. Seems logic and irrationality are evenly balanced on the fulcrum in my mind.
So I knew I would turn up at Jules’, tarot cards in my hand. I also thought I would bomb. Then I though “ah, to hell with this! If I bomb, I bomb. Jules is so nice, she wouldn’t make me feel bad, even if I do. I have a chance to get over myself, I have a few days to do it in too. Why don’t I just try and enjoy this? For once in my life I’d like to step up to the plate and be smiling at the end of it!” And then I didn’t think about it for a couple of days. Friday teatime arrived before I knew it and I began to feel a little tetchy. Then I had a brilliant idea! Why don’t I try and tune into Jules, see what I can find, get a head start, so to speak?
Second sight in glorious Technicolour
Applying mascara has never been so interesting. I thought about Jules and actually said in my head “Is there anything about Jules that I need to know, that I can tell her at dinner?” Amazingly I was getting images! And a name. I asked about this person and was told (in my own voice and head) it was a health issue. Interesting. Again, in my head, I asked if there was anyone around Jules that would like to come forward so I could tell her they were there? Again, I saw the image of somone, I couldn’t see this person’s face, but I made a mental note of their clothes, height and build. Finally I asked about her business plans and was there anything I could tell her. Immediately I saw a tarot card and was taken aback. This small session of ‘tuning into Jules’ had been very productive and had been quite a surprise. Of course, the pessimistic side began to chip in and before I knew it, I was questioning what I had been given “Well you know Jules, you know the people around her, you could just be picking them out because they’re familiar.”
Fear and doubt. Two equally powerful and destructive bedfellows. I knew them well and they were working overtime to keep me from progressing here. Aggravated by their presence again, I told them to shut up! We’ll let Jules be the judge of what I had seen and the tarot reading I would give her. Ooh, this was more like it – a more confident me! Though aware I still had to give my psychic medium friend a tarot reading, I was now eager to share the information I had been given and was now driving to her home with an excited anticipation of a good night ahead. I wasn’t disappointed.
Fear and Doubt. Who?
Dinner was fabulous, of course. And the company is the best around. Then Jules wanted her tarot reading. I began to tell her of my little experiment, of trying to tune into her to assist my tarot reading. Excited by my new foray into pyschic mediumship, she confirmed what I had told her as identical to what she had been picking up, and the identity of the second person I had seen. On describing this gents trousers, I told her of a brand they resembled to me. She confirmed they were indeed the brand this gent wore. Really? Oh my. I had tuned in so well, for a novice that I told Fear and Doubt to go take a running jump! Bring on that tarot reading.
That tarot reading turned into three tarot readings. Laying out the cards for the question relating to her business plans, the same card I had seen lay staring at us from my Tarot Elements Signature Spread! Jules was sat there just smiling “I told you all along girl and you didn’t believe me. You are a psychic medium!” I couldn’t help but smile myself, who could blame me. Perhaps she was right? Fear and Doubt trying to get in by the back door? Forget it, it’s closed.
Since last Friday, I have been ‘tuning in’ to as many people as I’ve come across. People have asked me questions and I have just said the first thing that came into my head. Jules said I must learn to trust the process and trust what I am given. “It may not make a lot of sense to your or your client, not straight away, but it will, trust me on that.” I do. And I’m trusting myself and what I hear and see, with and without my tarot cards in front of me, because as it was shown to me, they can be used as a means of communication, in my minds eye.
Try it for yourself, you might be as surprised as I was.
Catherine
