Karmic Bitch-slap Tarot Spread

41 thoughts on “Karmic Bitch-slap Tarot Spread”

1. I love this spread! And of course I’m totally taken with Zorian – he’s a dream to work with and a star in the making.
   If you have any questions about the Karmic Bitch-slap Tarot Spread, then don’t hold back – fire away!! We’d love to hear from you :)

2. Well, now, here’s a totally useful tarot spread for all those people who come to me saying “WTF???????” after a relationship goes el-smasheroo! Thanks, Zorian!

   • LOL I second Valerie :D

   • It’s awesome isn’t it?! Cuts right to the chase, no nonsense, Zorian style :)

   • Valerie –
     Aw, thank you Valerie, I’m glad you like it. Isn’t it so cool how channeling one’s anger via our creativity with Tarot can lead to something that can be so much fun, yet ever so helpful at the same time?
     ~*~*~*~*~*~
     Douglas –
     Thanks Douglas, I’m glad you enjoyed the spread :D
     (Catherine – Awww … you’re making me blush! :”> )

3. Hey, this is truly awesome!!! I couldn’t imagine myself to be so forthright about it if I hadn’t seen this post – but I just got dumped myself. (long distance as well!) And by “just now” I mean like 10 hours ago… couldn’t quite believe the synchronicity myself.
   I am exclaiming certainly not because I felt great about it, but the question each card represents are the exact ones I have been thinking (especially the one for Karmic Lesson). They have been the theme for my personal celtic cross reading but I never thought about incorporating all of them together! And yea, why not?
   Haven’t tried it yet but love the inverted heart shape already (great graphics by the way!), will report how it goes after some tries.
   Great spread!

   • Hi Paul,
     Synchronicity is an amazing thing – like you, it never ceases to amaze me.
     Zorian’s Karmic Bitch-slap Tarot Spread works so well because it came straight from his heart – his pure feelings shared for us all to connect with. I’ve often said that honesty is best when working with the Tarot, and this shows that ideal from a different angle.
     I do hope you give Zorian’s spread a go – I’d love to hear how you get on and hope that things work out for you.
     Thank you for taking the time to stop and for leaving your comment.

   • Paul-
     Thanks Paul, I’m so happy you enjoyed the spread. Aw, I’m so sorry to hear about your relationship ending so abruptly. Long distance relationships can be incredibly hard, but even more so when the other person is just not willing to go out on a limb.
     I would so totally love it if you would share how the spread worked for you, as well as, your reading itself. Feel free to add me on Facebook (I’m a total Facebook Ho!) and send it to me as a message. That way it’s private, and I can add my 2 cents to your reading as well :D

4. This is a fantastic spread. And a great website. Thanks!

   • Hi Melissa – thank you! Glad you enjoyed Zorian’s Tarot Spread, and of course my blog – it’s lovely to see you here again :)

   • Melissa –
     Thanks Melissa, am happy that you enjoyed the spread (and Catherine’s fantastic blog!)

5. Thank you for that spread. I laughed the whole time and got insights into the cards you got.

   • Hi Robin – thank you for stopping by and commenting, Zorian certainly has a way with words. His warmth and open, generous spirit comes right through his writing – he’s a delight to know and work with :)

   • Robin –
     Thank you Robin, glad I could make you laugh. I personally feel that Tarot needs to be more ‘fun’. That way we can not only get a good laugh and relax, but also be more open towards receiving their messages, without going all fatalistic and scare ourselves.
     (Catherine – Awww … you’re too kind. Now you’re really making me blush! :”> .. )

6. I appreciate your humor and understand your need for healing, but caution against the spirit of this spread. Ego serving spreads are very dangerous. (V) primes the the major key over (X), and as such, considering that your Soul Card is pure karma unaccompanied by an incidence of manifestation, you will unwittingly and repeatedly manifest similar circumstances until you become aware of your causative nature. The bright side is that, once you do, there will be a wizardly quality to how you approach everything occurring beyond your present reality. Conflict will dissipate when you begin to think beyond immediacy.

   • Hi Bulal,
     Thank you for your comment. Your concern is greatly appreciated, and if this spread was the only one in any Tarotist’s toolkit, then I would certainly agree with you.
     However, in keeping with the nature of the break-up of a relationship, as you’re no doubt aware, different emotions are experienced at different times in the aftermath. At some point the anger, the exasperation, the simple question of ‘why?’ must be addressed, expressed and allowed to exist in order for their importance to wane so that healing process can subsequently begin.
     To deny these strong feelings is as dangerous as an out of control ego – mystics have long advised that our feelings are allowed the room to exist within ourselves – to deny them is to bury them which will only lead to an undercurrent of resentment and bitterness. Bitterness is particularly unpleasant and can be an unfortunate by-product of unanswered questions, wondering what you did wrong, and in some cases leading a person to think and feel that there is something wrong with them.
     Honesty is always the best policy and being honest with how you feel, even if it’s seemingly ‘unspiritual’ is to be open to healing. To quash these feelings is to live in denial, which I consider far more dangerous than expressing how you truly feel. To keep repeating the same mistakes and experiencing repeated relationship problems is the result of not looking honestly at yourself and why your relationship broke up, or why keep breaking up – the casual effect of denial.
     This Tarot spread is just one way to help with the healing process. As Zorian said in his intro “sometimes you just gotta get it off your chest.” I happen to agree, and I also believe that you have to deal with the immediacy in the here and now, only when you can acknowledge how you feel, can you truly move on – that’s when the magic of healing really begins.

   • Bulal –
     Thank you for your feedback Bulal. I appreciate your honesty and your wisdom. And yes, you have made quite a few many valid points, however, have you ever been dumped by someone you loved? Have you ever had your heartbroken so bad that it truly hurts? How did you feel when it happened?
     Usually, one of the many reactions people have to such a situation (along with pain, sorrow, and misery) is anger. It’s humiliating to be dumped, as well as, have your heartbroken. It can literally suck the life out of you for such incidents do feel like a major blow to our stomach.
     However, anger (along with every emotion) is best when it’s expressed. Emotions are like water. Water, when stagnant and suppressed, tends to become all mossy and toxic over time. However, when Water flows like a river, it is at it’s purest and freshest, nourishing the lands it passes through with the most fertile soil to grow the most magnificent plants.
     Therefore, only once we’re able to express how we feel about the break up, can we come to terms with it, as well as, begin our healing journey. Just like it’s bad to cuss and swear, sometimes we just have to shout out those 4-letter words in order to get rid off all the angst and negativity that’s bubbling within.
     Regarding my Soul Card appearing as Karmic Lessons, well, if you’d read my interpretation of the card, you would find that I have already identified the true issue at stake (which was even mentioned in the first card – Justice). It’s an issue that I struggled with for a long time, but have been working on it in the past few years, and more recently have achieved a breakthrough in it.
     Is it an Ego Serving Spread? Well, I don’t know how you understand that term, but if in a spread you ask for insights on both sides of the situation, as well as, focus majority of the cards on healing and guidance, as well as, identify numerous areas that show where you went wrong (such as my ‘desperate neediness for a companion’, to ‘my always pushing Mr.Tool to give the relationship a definition, as well as, losing my identity within a relationship), it’s anything but Ego Serving. An ego serving spread for me would be like..
     1. How pretty do I look today?
     2. How fabulous is my ensemble?
     3. How jealous would Marcy be if I paraded myself in front of her bf…
     (You can probably guess where this leads to…)
     As far as the ‘forced negative view’ in position number 7 (i.e. The Karmic Bitchslap they shall receive?)… Well, this brings me back to the question of whether you’ve ever had your heart broken by someone. Even if you’re the lucky few who never has had to go through, think of a time when someone humiliated or betrayed you so badly that you just collapsed?
     Now usually, some people would go as far as to taking some form of revenge. Be it a verbal show-down, or stealing their identity and maxing out their credit cards (I saw this in a movie and found it funny), or even a literal Bitch-slap. The spread however in it’s own way reminds us that we don’t need to take a revenge of any sort, as the Universe itself shall take care of it for us (Karma – The Universe’s revenge – it’s meant as a joke, don’t take it literally).
     Since I don’t read with reversals, I believe that every card has it’s share of positive, and negative interpretations. No card is 100% goodness and light (The Star can be false hopes, while the Sun can be frivolous ego gratification) nor is any card 100% terror and darkness (The Tower can be a cleansing experience, and The Devil could advise us to take it easy and indulge a lil now and then).
     In so many spreads, there are positions that have a not-so-positive position – Our deepest fears… Where did we go wrong… What is my shadow side.. What dangers lie ahead.. etc etc, where we need to interpret the cards accordingly.
     Therefore, in the Karmic Bitch-slap position, we’re supposed to read the card as the position states.. a Karmic Bitchslap. And it’s not meant to spread malice of any sort. Just our way of discovering what the Universe has in store for someone based on how they hurt us.
     However, as you offered so kindly, I would love to hear your interpretation of the spread. It would be wonderful to hear someone completely unbiased out, as well as, learn something new in the process. If you wish, feel free to add me on Facebook, else (if Catherine permits) you can share it over here. And I’ll gladly give my feedback.
     Thank you :)

7. I loved this spread and the reading was great. I shall certainly put this one into my collection.

   • Hi Helen – I love this spread! Great for getting the whole thing off your chest and then moving on :)

   • Helen –
     Thank you Helen. I’m so glad that my lil ol spread is now a part of your collection. May it serve you well.

8. I enjoyed reading this post. It’s funny but well-said.
   I can’t believe India was that close-minded. Putting a law against homosexuality is just too much. Ew. I’m glad I’m not in that place. (Sorry to Indians… Peace!)

   • Hi AJ – it’s hard to believe we’re in the 21st century, but alas this is the nature of different cultures.
     Glad you enjoyed Zorian’s Tarot Spread – he brings it to live with a very honest and personal reading, though his nature is exactly like that – warm, genuine and honest :)

   • AJ –
     Thanks AJ. I’m really happy to hear that you enjoyed the spread (and got a good laugh outta it).
     The Laws regarding homosexuality is a little tricky here in India. You see, before we won our independence in 1947, we were a colony of the British Empire for over 150 years or so. A lot of our various constitutional laws were created using the old Victorian laws as a base (as it is only through the British Empire did we become a united country, before that we were a nation filled with numerous indigenous kingdoms with no uniform law or governing body for the entire country). Now, in terms of the old Victorian Law – Sodomy – (which to them includes oral and anal intercourse – thus overall being gay) is illegal and unnatural, and thus anyone partaking in it was punishable by law. So even though we achieved our independence over 60 years ago, the prude Victorian view on sexuality and morals has been ingrained within us. Which is odd, considering we are the country where the Kama Sutra and all kinky Tantric Sex rites were discovered.

9. I vehemently agree Catherine, healing is necessary, but to heal another is to be healed beyond conception. This is the wizardly approach I mentioned above. I submit to you this. If not bitterness, what spirit does this spread empower. If not in resentment, how does bitterness manifest. Notice the forced negative in position seven. Also, while the spread is called a karmic bitch-slap, the majority of its illumination is focused on the reader. The fire of the forge has blinded the creator to it’s key. In seeking the damnation of another we are found by our faults. As you are undoubtedly aware, it is entirely possible to experience pain without looking to another’s discomfort. Likewise, expressing our emotions can be done through art, music, poetry and/or exercise without the redoubling effects of tarot. We can deny these truths, but just as you’ve so eloquently stated, “To keep repeating the same mistakes and experiencing repeated relationship problems is the result of not looking honestly at yourself and why your relationship broke up, or why keep breaking up – the casual effect of denial.”
   I do love your willingness to go out on a limb and defend your friends, but I assure you it was not necessary. Please remember that I opened with sympathy and support, and know that I only saw a need for healing that was beyond the readers vision and wanted to do what I could to help. I would be more than happy to elaborate on my interpretation of the spread if you wish to attain my perspective. Certainly, you know that I meant no harm and only wish you both the best in your respective futures. Until next time…
   Love and Light,
   Bulal

   • Hi Bulal,
     I take on board what you are saying. However, I don’t feel that there is any karmic implication for Zorian, or anyone else who will use this spread. It doesn’t seek retribution, it merely enquires about recourse, which, no doubt you will know, the universe will deal with in it’s own way and not at the behest of an upset individual. Tarot readings themselves can produce fickle results when the question is out of sorts. Asking the question isn’t wrong and will hold no sway with universal or heavenly powers in dealing with individual behaviours – if indeed these are the belief systems of the querent.
     Holding onto angst, and anger is detrimental to anyone’s development and as synchronicity would have it, of course, I was shown a prime example of this very thing in my own household over the weekend. There has been tension brewing among my children and myself, for various reasons that aren’t unique to teenagers, but are certainly exasperated by that very age group. An unpleasant situation developed right before my eyes and before I knew it, I was involved squarely in the thick of it. One of my children was so upset and angry with me, that he sent me a very unpleasant text message telling me exactly what he thought of me. It was a shock, to us both. I took it on the chin and cried my tears away from him. The point is, in the heat of that moment, when his hurt and anger got the better of him, he may have appeared to have lashed out – he was actually expressing exactly how he felt and got it squarely off his chest. He was apologetic for the text and we had a lovely chat afterwards. Needless to say, our situation improved because he felt he could say what he needed to. Amid his hurt, his pain and his anger, he managed to release those feelings. They gave way to us finding a new level to operate and communicate on.
     Had he not expressed himself so totally, he would have held onto how he was feeling, which is what he had been doing already. The resentment and the bitterness had already been brewing – but now it has been released, we both have a wonderful new sense of serenity and a mutual respect and openness that was obviously missing before.
     I know and understand that your intentions are honourable and that you only meant to offer care and support. I just wanted to point out the differences between our position, because on lots of levels, neither of us are wrong. It depends on your viewpoint, your belief systems and your perspective.
     I value you comments always and hope that we may continue to have wonderful exchanges that challenge our gray matter – after all, what is a comments section for if we cannot debate our differences :)

10. Catherine, thanks for sharing Zorian’s spread, I’m lucky in that I’ve never found myself in this situation in a relationship, I’ve been with my hubby since I was 17 but will be using it for others should they wish, so long as its ok with Zorian.
    I thought it was brilliant, made me smile even laugh but at the same time very informative and thought provoking, Zorian does indeed have a way with words.
    Love and blessings
    Laura
    xx

    • Hi Laura – thank you for taking the time to comment :)
      Zorian has no problem with you using his Tarot Spread – he’s a caring, sharing kind of guy – and yes, he does have a way with words :)

    • Laura –
      Aw thank you, I’m so glad my spread and reading made you smile :D. Thank you so much, and please, feel free to use the spread whenever you please. It truly helped me heal from Mr.Tool (and a whole buncha other men), as well as, really helped a lot of my friends as well. And wow, you are one of the lucky ones to have found your soul-mate in the form of your husband and have been with him since 17!… That’s the kind of love most of us only dream of!

11. Hi Catherine,
    I have been away and missed my TE nightcaps.
    Thank you Z for this spread – luv the title!
    So often clients jump from the frying pan to the fire and just as fast as they’ve wiped their tears, they’re back for another reading asking, “What’s in the cards for me now?”
    What = Who
    I like the fact that this reading helps the querent to focus on the lesson learned for surely if we don’t learn, we just keep getting burned?
    Thank you for this Z and C!
    Peace,
    Michelle

    • Hi Michelle – glad you’re back with us! I’ve been away myself for a few days and now trying to catch up too.
      Zorian’s Karmic Bitch-slap Tarot Spread is great isn’t it?! Great for clearing out that pent up emotion; great for getting it off your chest and as you quite rightly said, great for finding out what lesson you need to learn to help you with future relationships.
      I love this spread – I’m glad you do too!

12. I just LOVED this spread! Such a great spread that gets right to the point ! These are the questions our querents are really asking when they are ready to accept that the relationship is just over but they need to move forward. I like how the reading asks clear questions that will give us direct answers and gives the opportunity for guidance and healing. What a great spread! Thanks for sharing it Zorian and Catherine!

    • Hi Chanel – thanks for your comment! Zorian certainly created a wonderful spread – says it like it is! Perfect :)
      Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for stopping by :)

13. Hey there
    Your Spread is fabulous, I love it!! :P
    Yikes, no replies since a couple years, lol.
    Your story sounds just like it could have been written by me about my ex! I’m a woman. Straight. Blonde, pretty, elegant, but a tomboy inside. The ex wanted to be a hero, and has the charm of a guru just like yours, but is really a wimp inside. The kind to pick the moment when you seriously need support to make his exit.
    I’ll try your spread today and share the results, lol.
    Have a good day! :D

    • Hey, thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment – it has been quite a while since anyone did on this post, lol.
      I think one of the reasons this spread does so well is that it resonates with so many – and who doesn’t want to know if there’s a little karmic bitch-slap out there for you-know-who? ;~/
      I look forward to hearing how you get on with the spread…
      Welcome to Tarot Elements :)
      Catherine

14. Another one of your genius spreads, Zorian!!! Love it! Wish you would post the musical ones you shared at AT once upon a time! Bravo, kiddo!

15. hi, just want to let u know dat this spread sounds awesome. I cant wait to try it out and offer this spreads for my friends :) thanks so much! :) <3

16. i would just like to say this is an amazing spread love it i was tickled pink :)

    • Hi Stella,
      Glad you like the post, Zorian did a wonderful job with it, didn’t he?!
      Catherine

17. This is hysterical…I so needed this!! :)

18. I loveee the spread ! needed something like this! thanks !

19. Great article! Unfortunately, the graphics are no longer there so I cannot see the layout.

    Would love to try it out!

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